Harold’s Blog (Running ,Fitness,Jokes and more)

A muscle strain, also called a pulled muscle, occurs when a muscle is stretched too far, and small tears occur within the muscle. Muscle strain injuries are graded by severity:

Grade I: Mild discomfort, often no disability. Usually does not limit activity.

Grade II: Moderate discomfort, can limit ability to perform high level activities. May have moderate swelling and bruising associated.

Grade III: Severe injury that can cause significant pain. Often patients complain of muscle spasm, swelling, and significant bruising.

Difficulty: Average
Time Required: Depends on the severity of the injury
Here’s How:

1. Rest:
Rest is recommended for the early recovery phase, lasting 1 to 5 days depending on the severity of the injury. Immobilization is not usually necessary, and can be potentially harmful. Immobilization in a splint or cast should be carefully supervised by your doctor, as this can lead to stiffness of the muscle.

2. Ice:
Ice application helps reduce swelling, bleeding, and pain. Ice application should begin as soon as possible after sustaining a muscle pull. Ice applications can be done frequently, but should not be done for more than 15 minutes at a time.

3. Anti-Inflammatory Medications:
Anti-inflammatory medications can help reduce swelling and alleviate painful symptoms. These medications do have potential side effects, and you should check with your doctor prior to starting anti-inflammatory medications.

4. Gentle Stretching:
Stretching and strengthening are useful in treatment and prevention of muscle strain injuries. Muscles that are stronger and more flexible are less likely to be injured.

5. Strengthening:
After injuring the muscle, it is important to regain strength before returning to athletic activities. Both the injury itself and the rest period following the injury can reduce the strength of the muscle. Stronger muscles are less likely to sustain a re-injury.

6. Heat Applications:
Laboratory studies have shown that temperature can influence the stiffness of a muscle. By keeping the body and muscles warm, the muscle is less likely to sustain a strain type of injury.

7. Avoid Muscle Fatigue:
Muscles help absorb energy, and restoring the strength of the muscle will help prevent re-injury. Muscles that are fatigued are more likely to be injured. Athletes should use caution, especially as they become fatigued, as the muscle becomes more susceptible to strain injuries.

8. Warm-Up Properly:
Warming up prior to athletic competition or sports will help loosen the muscle and prevent injuries. Jumping into a sport with stiff muscles can lead to a higher chance of straining the muscle.

The Marine Infantryman
Gunnery Sergeant Steven Miller, USMC
As Seen By Himself:

A Stout, Handsome, Highly-Trained Professional Killer and Female Idol, who wears a star sapphire ring, carries a finely honed K-Bar, is covered with a crisp cammie cover and is always on time due to the reliability of his Seiko Diver’s Watch.
As Seen By His Wife:

A stinking, gross, foul mouthed bum, who arrives home every 6 months or so with a seabag full of filthy utilities, a huge ugly watch, an oversized knife, a filthy hat, and a hard-on.
As Seen By Headquarters:

A drunken Brawling, HMMWV stealing, women corrupting liar, with a star sapphire ring, Seiko watch, unauthorized K-Bar, and a f—ed up cover.
As Seen By His Commanding Officer:

A fine specemin of a drunken Brawling, HMMWV stealing, women corrupting bullshitter, with a star sapphire ring, fantastically accurate Seiko watch, finely honed razor sharp K-Bar, and a salty cammie cover.
As Seen By Headquarters Marine Corps:

An over paid, over-rated, tax burden, who is however, indespensible since he will volunteer to go anywhere, at any time, and kill whoever he is told to, as long as he can, drink, brawl, steal HMMWV’s, corrupt women, kick cats, lie, sing dirty songs, wear filthy cammies, big Sapphire rings, over-sized knives, Seiko watches and really f—ed up covers.

A ninety-five year old woman at the nursing home…

… received a visit from one of her fellow church members. “How are you feeling?” the visitor asked.

“Oh,” said the lady, “I’m just worried sick!”

“What are you worried about, dear?” her friend asked. “You look like you’re in good health. They are taking care of you, aren’t they?”

“Yes, they are taking very good care of me.”

“Are you in any pain?” she asked.

“No, I have never had a pain in my life.”

“Well, what are you worried about?” her friend asked again.

The lady leaned back in her rocking chair and slowly explained her major worry. “Every close friend I ever had has already died and gone on to heaven. I’m afraid they’re all wondering where I went.”

Extensive clinical and statistical studies have identified several factors that increase the risk of coronary heart disease and heart attack. Major risk factors are those that research has shown significantly increase the risk of heart and blood vessel (cardiovascular) disease. Other factors are associated with increased risk of cardiovascular disease, but their significance and prevalence haven’t yet been precisely determined. They’re called contributing risk factors.

The American Heart Association has identified several risk factors. Some of them can be modified, treated or controlled, and some can’t. The more risk factors you have, the greater your chance of developing coronary heart disease. Also, the greater the level of each risk factor, the greater the risk. For example, a person with a total cholesterol of 300 mg/dL has a greater risk than someone with a total cholesterol of 245 mg/dL, even though everyone with a total cholesterol greater than 240 is considered high-risk.

What are the major risk factors that can’t be changed?
Increasing Age
Male Sex (Gender)
Heredity (Including Race)

What are the major risk factors you can modify, treat or control by changing your lifestyle or taking medicine?
Tobacco Smoke
High Blood Cholesterol
High Blood Pressure
Physical Inactivity
Obesity and Overweight
Diabetes Mellitus

What other factors contribute to heart disease risk?
Stress
Alcohol
Diet and Nutrition

A computer programmer was walking along the beach when he found a lamp.

Upon rubbing the lamp a genie appeared who stated “I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish you want, but only one wish.”

The programmer pulled out a map of the Mediterranean area and said “I’d like there to be a just and last peace among the people in the middle east.”

The genie responded, “Gee, I don’t know. Those people have been fighting since the beginning of time. I can do just about anything, but this is beyond my limits.”

The programmer then said, “Well, I am a programmer and my programs have a lot of users. Please make all the users satisfied with my programs, and let them ask sensible changes”

Genie: “Uh, let me see that map again.”

A radical feminist is getting on a bus when…

… just in front of her, a man gets up from his seat.

#She thinks to herself, “Here’s another man trying to keep up the customs of a patriarchal society by offering a poor, defenseless woman his seat,” and she pushes him back onto the seat.

A few minutes later, the man tries to get up again. She is insulted again and refuses to let him up.

Finally, the man says, “Look, lady, you’ve got to let me get up. I’m two miles past my stop already.”

How to catch the Swine Flu

The following video shows the proper way to do the hurdler stretch before running.

 

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If the Battle of Trafalgar were fought today…

Nelson: “Order the signal, Hardy.”

Hardy: “Aye, aye sir.”

Nelson: “Hold on, that’s not what I dictated to Flags. What’s the meaning of this?”

Hardy: “Sorry sir?”

Nelson (reading aloud): “‘ England expects every person to do his or her duty, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religious persuasion or disability.’ – What gobbledygook is this?”

Hardy: “Admiralty policy, I’m afraid, sir. We’re an equal opportunities employer now. We had the devil’s own job getting ‘ England ‘ past the censors, lest it be considered racist.”

Nelson: “Gadzooks, Hardy. Hand me my pipe and tobacco.”

Hardy: “Sorry sir. All naval vessels have now been designated smoke-free working environments.”

Nelson: “In that case, break open the rum ration. Let us splice the main brace to steel the men before battle.”

Hardy: “The rum ration has been abolished, Admiral. Its part of the Government’s policy on binge drinking.”

Nelson: “Good heavens, Hardy. I suppose we’d better get on with it. Full speed ahead.”

Hardy: “I think you’ll find that there’s a 4 knots speed limit in this stretch of water.”

Nelson: “Damn it man! We are on the eve of the greatest sea battle in history. We must advance with all dispatch. Report from the crow’s nest please.”

Hardy: “That won’t be possible, sir.”

Nelson: “What?”

Hardy: “Health and Safety have closed the crow’s nest, sir. No harness and they said that rope ladders don’t meet regulations. They won’t let anyone up there until proper scaffolding can be erected.”

Nelson: “Then get me the ship’s carpenter without delay, Hardy.”

Hardy: “He’s busy knocking up a wheelchair access to the fo’c’sle Admiral.”

Nelson: “Wheelchair access? I’ve never heard anything so absurd.”

Hardy: “Health and safety again, sir. We have to provide a barrier-free environment for the differently-abled.”

Nelson: “Differently-abled? I’ve only one arm and one eye and I refuse even to hear mention of the word. I didn’t rise to the rank of Admiral by playing the disability card.”

Hardy: “Actually, sir, you did. The Royal Navy is under represented in the areas of visual impairment and limb deficiency.”

Nelson: “Whatever next? Give me full sail. The salt spray beckons.”

Hardy: “A couple of problems there too, Sir. Health and safety won’t let the crew up the rigging without hard hats. And they don’t want anyone breathing in too much salt – haven’t you seen the adverts?”

Nelson: “I’ve never heard such infamy. Break out the cannon and tell the men to stand by to engage the enemy.”

Hardy: “The men are a bit worried about shooting at anyone, Admiral.”

Nelson: “What? This is mutiny!”

Hardy: “It’s not that, sir. It’s just that they’re afraid of being charged with murder if they actually kill anyone. There’s a couple of legal-aid lawyers on board, watching everyone like hawks.”

Nelson: “Then how are we to sink the Frenchies and the Spanish?”

Hardy: “Actually, Sir, we’re not.”

Nelson: “We’re not?”

Hardy: “No, Sir. The French and the Spanish are our European partners now. According to the Common Fisheries Policy, we shouldn’t even be in this stretch of water. We could get hit with a claim for compensation.”

Nelson: “But you must hate a Frenchman as you hate the devil.”

Hardy: “I wouldn’t let the ship’s Diversity Co-ordinator hear you saying that Sir. You’ll be put on a disciplinary report.”

Nelson: “You must consider every man an enemy, who speaks ill of your King.”

Hardy: “Not any more, Sir. We must be inclusive in this multi-cultural age. Now put on your Kevlar vest; it’s the rules. It could save your life”

Nelson: “Don’t tell me – health and safety. Whatever happened to rum and the lash?”

Hardy: As I explained, Sir, rum is off the menu! And there’s a ban on corporal punishment…”

Nelson: “Hardy … Just shoot me!”

Hardy: “Sorry Sir, I can’t do that.  But if you want me to take a memo…”

The following video shows why fitness is important. It allows you to what you want to do at any age.

 

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