Harold’s Blog (Running ,Fitness,Jokes and more)

23 Jul

Dumb Instructions

Dumb Instructions

  • “Warning: May contain nuts.” — On a package of peanuts.
  • “Do not eat.” — On a slip of paper in a stereo box, referring to the styrofoam packing.
  • “Access hole only — not intended for use in lifting box.” — On the sides of a shipping carton, just above cut-out openings which one would assume were handholds.
  • “Warning: May cause drowsiness.” — On a bottle of Nytol, a brand of sleeping pills.
  • “Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death.” — Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle.
  • “Do not use orally after using rectally.” — In the instructions for an electric thermometer.
  • “Turn off motor before using this product.” — On the packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain.
  • “Not to be used as a personal flotation device.” — On a 6×10 inch inflatable picture frame.
  • “Do not put in mouth.” — On a box of bottle rockets.
  • “Please remove before driving.” — On the back of a cardboard windshield (for keeping the car from getting too hot when parked).
  • “Remove plastic before eating.” — On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack.
  • “Not dishwasher safe.” — On a remote control for a TV.
  • “For lifting purposes only.” — On the box for a car jack.
  • “Do not put lit candles on phone.” — On the instructions for a cordless phone.
  • “Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants.” — On the packaging for a wristwatch.
  • “Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use.” — On a battery.

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